I don’t know if I hate the idea that I’m getting old or it’s just the state of being overwhelmed with all the wishes from people that often make me so emotional during my birthday.
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I’m sorry you feel that way. Maybe see it as one less year before you can leave behind those feelings, and the people that make you feel that way. There are people who truly want you to enjoy your birthday. Even though I don’t know you I wish you all the best. Treat yourself kindly, maybe dress up, maybe spend time making something for yourself. Don’t give up, you are worth more than you think.
I feel you man, but try to just celebrate your existence the best way you know how. It could be something gratifying like buying a nice juicy burger or going to a place that makes you feel at peace with yourself. I personally enjoy riding motorcycles to escape the bullshit of the world. You gotta find what works for you. Everyone’s different.