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I know what I want and how I want to make it happen. I have everything figured out, but I’m always scared to take the giant step of starting. I’m afraid everything might not work out. How can I help this?
It seems to be you are a in a kind of circle. If you want things to change the only way is to change.
That you don’t believe in yourself and feel down is coming from your thoughts that you realize that you procrastinate and only wait. If you wait you will wait forever. Nothing in life is difficult, everything is only steps, each goal is a combination of steps that have to be done one by one. If one fails you retry and if again fail you change and correct and retry and if still fails you step back and rethink if works this way or look for advice and retry a new way but as world is moving you keep moving and doing. Sometimes even acting without good result is better than nothing because later it shows you what didn’t work and so you find the way how to solve it. I think procrastinating is something you learned in life. Small children don’t procrastinate they jump up and do whatever they want to do and feel happy when trying. When someone procrastinate it has to do with the believe system. Mostly people think it does not make a difference if they do it or don’t do it or do it later. And there is a fear if they do it if it would be good or they look for the perfect solution to do the task. Another issue can be that you are with persons or a partner that bring you down or don’t help your self esteem and unconsciously you procrastinate to punish them for how they treat you, but this work in the wrong way.
You can think about all hidden issues that hold you back or you leave them aside and start changing. Start with small steps. Each day a new task and do it. If one day you don’t do it, still be kind to yourself and accept that you where doing long time differently so it needs time. You need to feel good when finishing a task and when done give yourself good emotions. Also before you sleep imagine how you do the task you want to do next day and how you feel good doing so. Also imagine how your life gets each day better and better and how you feel each. Day stronger. This is called visualization of the future you desire. Fake it till you make it.
One important issue, look if people around you support you or perhaps they like to have you in this position without they are realizing so—perhaps they feel better when they feel more productive than you. This does not have to be the case but it is possible.
I want you to search about something called as “self-sabotage”. I feel you need to heal from whatever it is that is making you hold back. It’s not going to be easy, it’s definitely going to be tough. But it will definitely be worth it.
Remember, we don’t get what we wish for, we get what we work for. No pains, no gains, right? Right. Just thinking, planning but not actually doing anything is the most useless thing. Action is the most important habit we can ever develop. Just make a list of habits which you have to develop, habits which you have to get rid of, and delegate new healthy habits in place of them.
Lastly, just remember that everyone’s journey is different. Other people have seen and experienced their own problems, so please don’t compare yourself with them. Being inspired by someone is good, but don’t compare yourself unnecessarily. I know it’s not easy, but if it were easy, everyone would do it. In this case, according to your question, you yourself have become the reason for your regret. You are regretting about not working harder. You are regretting about not working enough. You are regretting due to your wasting time. I don’t know your whole story, maybe there are other people responsible for it. But remember, if you don’t achieve what you deeply want, the one who’s gonna be extremely regretful about it in this whole world is you, especially if you know that you are the main reason. There may be some wounds in your heart and mind, heal them. Even if you take professional help from a doctor, the one who can heal you is yourself. You only have one option, that is to be strong. You have got to be strong, accept your reality and have to believe in yourself to make changes for not letting it happen ever. Plan and execute, plan and execute. Execute the next day, whatever you’ve planned. Don’t plan and procrastinate or hold back.