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We all know manipulative people, whether they are friends, family, neighbors or colleagues. They’re the people who know how to push our buttons. They might scare, coerce, obligate, criticize, guilt trip, blame, undermine, intimidate, abuse. Or they flatter, offer sympathy, act innocent — but not with sincerity. It’s all emotional blackmail. It’s manipulation
If they are negatively manipulative I avoid them. If they are positively manipulative , I try to help them be more direct with me so they don’t have to hide information from me or don’t have to mislead me in order for us to enhance our interaction. I did have one incident though, with a woman who pretended to talk to me in a foreign language. I tried to be straight forward with her, but she persisted as if she wanted me to respond in her made up language. This was way beyond my skill level, so I tried to walk away and she actually stuck her arm out to block my path. I started to get into panicy survival mode and I turned around and walked into a crowd of people for protection. She looked a little disappointed and had I been more prepared for our encounter, I might have handled this more productivly. And I still regret that I wasn’t better able to interact with her. In retrospect, she seemed very delightful and playful.
First, if possible, avoid them as much as you can.
Don’t share personal or important details with them. Don’t pass on any miniscule complain about a co-worker or friend to them because they will probably use any private information you give them to their advantage. Maintain a neutral topic of coversation with them, not allowing any side tracking into subjects you know they will use to try and influence you on. They will use mutual interests to talk you up and get chummy with you. They will use your emotions and their own to manipulate, so as a response remain vague, unemotional and polite with their emotional theatrics. When they try to manipulate using irrefutable facts and figures, do your very best to appear disturbed or agreeable and manipulated— act like you believe them. This will get them off your back for a while and they will stop with manipulating believing they have with a doubt convinced you. Unmask them, letting then know you understand what they are doing and their manipulation wont work on you. This will deter some manipulators from trying again.