My husband think I spoil and condone our kids too much because I tend to always give them gifts when they excel at school. I love appreciating their effort and I feel giving them gifts will encourage them to do even better.
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My husband think I spoil and condone our kids too much because I tend to always give them gifts when they excel at school. I love appreciating their effort and I feel giving them gifts will encourage them to do even better.
If all you want your child to achieve is to get an A on the English test, or go to a Ivy League university, reward away. But then what? Are you going to keep rewarding them for every slight achievement for the rest of their lives? For these children, it is likely that they become very reward-driven. Am I going to be rewarded if I do this? No? Then I’ll do something else. Children are curious, they love learning about new things. Think babies who keep dropping spoons to the floor, they are little physicist experimenting on the effect of gravity. Think children who ask endless questions, they want to know how the world works. This intrinsic motivation is what we are most seeking for. It’s what enables them to discover themselves and the world, and become lifelong learners. It’s what makes them successful.
The school system, with its endless tests and more, turns learning a work and brings the word “learning” a negative connotation that is connected to memorizing the solutions, forced sitting in the classroom, possible humiliation and punishment, and more. School is already filled with external motivation and punishments. So as a parent, one often should encourage the growth of the intrinsic motivation by answering children’s questions, letting them experiment, traveling, visiting museums, etc.
I believe parents should reward kids that come home with good grades. I believe each parent should evaluate their situation both financially and academically to determine the reward. The first thing to keep in mind is to make the reward attainable for the child as well as afforable for yourself. If your child is a barely passing child, don’t make the award all A’s. In my experience, I’ve never seen a child barely passing get offered money and start cranking out A+’s unless they could the whole time and decided to extort their parents pockets. Make it a stair step award much like employers set up a bonus program for their associates. Let’s be honest here, all a student has to do is make straight D’s and they pass. I’ve seen students all the way through college say I just need the minimum to pass so I suggest stair-stepping it to make it worth their while to earn their award at whatever level they can attain. I do hope this helps and I’m certain there are others who feel likewise and opposite. Just remember, make the decision you feel comfortable with and one last thing. It doesn’t always have to be cash money for an award either.