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Does the relationship change when you find out you were adopted? Does it have to change? Waking up one day just to find out your parents ain’t your birth parents, that could do a lot to someone right?
Learning as an adult that you are not the person you believed you were for your entire life can be depressing, traumatic and agonizing. Finding out that your parents accounts for the feelings of betrayal. You start question even your identity, you feel dissociated and suddenly don’t know how to act around those you grew up with your whole life thinking they are your mother and father. There is never a good time to tell a child that he or she was adopted, however, adoptive parents should always know that the earlier they told their adopted children the better. The longer the delay, the more devastating the children get when they grow older and they get to know they were adopted.
I didn’t know my birth parent until I was 16. I didn’t accidentally get to know my supposed parents were not my birth parents. I got to know during my 16th birthday, my parents had invited my birth mom, and I was introduced to her. I was told about how they picked me up after my birth mom left me immediately after birth, she used to be a drugie and my pregnancy was such a mistake for her. I was a mistake. But she never left permanently, she knew all about me and the family that took me in. I was angry, angry at everyone, angry at the situation. I felt they could’ve told me before that time. Over time, I got to know it was probably for the best. I learned to appreciate and love my parents better. Who knows what would’ve happened if they didn’t take me in. It is a normal to have a feel of rage when that kind of information hits you. But as time goes on, you tend to see the good that comes from it. I developed a good relationship with my birth mom because, after all, she’s still and will forever be my birth mom. Nothing has changed with how I’m treated at home, and how I treat my parents. I love them so much.