How is healthy boundaries built in a relationship?
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You can be warm, outgoing, and engaging and still have good boundaries. You can be cold, distant, and alienated and have terrible boundaries. Having poor boundaries, seems to me, more often comes from having poor self-esteem or having aversion to conflict, than from being happy and outgoing. If you have poor self-esteem, you may not feel that you deserve to be treated well. If you are conflict-averse, then asserting a boundary can feel like you’re creating conflict. Having good boundaries means saying you won’t put up with being treated poorly.
What’s healthy in one relationship is not in another. I define healthy boundaries by what’s fair, what’s comfortable to both, what’s sustainable and realistic. Relationships are constantly evolving, so you will definitely need someone who is going to take the time to communicate and listen so you two can make things work.