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How would you take discovering new disgusting things about your partner after getting married? Things you never knew about them before getting married. How would you take it?
I found out my wife was terrified of men gaining mind control over her. She used to do different things to make sure she didn’t become subservient and that I didn’t get into a habit of being controlling. Ironically she was very controlling and very subtle about the way she tried to establish dominance. After a while she became extremely isolated because she couldn’t make me want what she wanted. She believed that having great sex too often was unhealthy because I might use it to establish mind control. Lol. I told her that it’s sociopaths that do that. Sociopaths make up like 1% of the population. But she was convinced that if she wasn’t careful she’d wake up one day and she’d be under the control of the patriarchy.
Few weeks into our marriage, my husband started acting very suspicious, very antsy and not his normal self. I had to ask him several times what’s wrong until I cornered him & said “We got married for better or for worse, for sickness & in health, so if you can’t tell me what is going on you are breaking the first cardinal rule to marriage.” The first words out of his mouth are “your going to divorce me.” With that being said he let everything out. My husband is in $240,000 debts for gambling! He was bouncing around between 2 loan sharks and got in over his head to the point he couldn’t pay either one. They wanted their money, they were after him. He had to tell me because if he didn’t I was going to find out very soon, and it wouldn’t be good. What was my response? I was numb. I was robbed from the happiest time of my life. I married someone I didn’t know, yet I could finish his sentences. I am still numb. I am going through my daily life, wearing my 3 karat engagement ring with my newly sparkly diamond wedding band, being asked how amazing married life is yet I want to move to a different country & crawl up into a ball and hide.
What I can say is, do not be naive like me. Enjoying the best life I could and never getting down to serious things such as opening joint bank accounts, or even asking how much money he makes a week. He could afford this lifestyle so why would I question it? I just found this out 3 days ago and everything is still processing. Am I going to divorce him? I want to. But what about the vows we took? Do I break them and start all over again? I have so many unanswered questions that I have to figure out, and figure them out quick. He doesn’t have a dime in his savings and already took out $10,000 out of our wedding money to shut one guy up until he figures out a plan.