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Often times, I hear people pass comments such as “you act so feminine” “you’re not masculine enough” at me. I’ve never been so bothered about those comments until I took up a new job role. I don’t look forward to going to work because of what my colleagues say to me. I don’t know how to make them stop.
Take a good look at your colleagues who do not get bullied, and nobody dare bully them, what is it that they have and you do not have? A bully pounces only on those who by nature are soft, vulnerable, passive, fearful, feel inadequate and sub-dued. A bully is a guy who himself is suffering from low self esteem, and knows his incapabilities and weakness, and in order to protect his big inflated ego, has to masquerade as a powerful person, and keep his false image boosted, has to pick on weak guys, to feel good.
Be assertive ,politely and firmly, stand up for yourself, speak out, oppose, give up your fear of other people, they are from your own species, say no loudly and clearly. Look them in the eye and give a stern warning ,tell him enough , make some noise when there are people around and expose him. Bullying in the workplace is a punishable behaviour, keep your superiors informed, keep a record of the episodes, bring it out in the open to get witnesses, and support, then file a complaint as per the procedure on the company. Bullying has a devastating effect on your emotions,and hurt you with pain and trauma, thereby undermining your efficiency, performance, delivery, your rating and career. Are you really going to let this happen just because some low down idiot who has problems of his own?
Bullying at the workplace can come in various forms such as suffering backstabbing, having your efforts undermined by lack of cooperation, having your work criticized unfairly or having others taking credit for your own achievements. Experiencing these situation is stressful and may tarnish your reputation if you don’t act on them.
To deal with bullying at your place of work, find people you trust are mature enough to understand your situation and who can offer support. Such people can act as advocates and give you back your confidence. Observe well how you’re being bullied in order to document your experience and reflect back on what’s happing over time. Being able to recognise occurrences yourself will put you in a better position to identify them before they degenerate and gives you enough time to reach out to colleagues including your superiors or those in the human resources department. Ultimately, if you feel that you have other reasons to let go of your job you might also wish to consider taking up a new job. Knowing how to face bullying is not meant to help you survive the day but to be a respected person and feel appreciated. Weakness is the first sign that a bully identifies before choosing a target. Self-confidence is key and it is you the primary person who needs to stick up for yourself.