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It’s a simple matter if you already know he’s gay. But what if he’s not? You want to ask a guy out but you do not know if he is gay. How should you do it?
Before you ask him out, you should know if he is straight, gay or bi. The best way to determine this is to get to know him first. This is true of any potential partner. Ask him to lunch, or study together, or go to a game. When it feels right, tell him you’re gay and how you like him. If he’s into you too, he’ll let you know. If not, you still move. It’s not your loss.
First, hit him with the invite to do friendly activities. The idea isn’t to seduce him, but to become friends, as you would with any other friend. You’ll build a mutual trust as your friendship grows. Soon afterward you can brush the topic of sexuality. Keep it vague at first by just mentioning gay things, like the latest gay marriage news or gays in the military or your gay friend from high school. Then judge his reactions. Once you’re comfortable, come out to him. If he’s gay or bi, then he’ll response with a disclosure of his own – if he is ready to come out and willing to share it with you. If he’s not, and worth anything as a human being, he’ll stick by your side and at least be your buddy. Worst case scenario, he is not, and you’re better off without him.
Manage your expectations, though. You like him, so consciously or not, you’ve built a fantasy in your head about you two being together. Sexuality, friendships and relationships are not quite that transparent. Keep an open mind for an infinite amount of scenarios: He may be gay and not ready to come out; he may be gay and is just not into you; he may be straight and a homophobe; he may be straight and gay friendly; or he may be gay and into you. Don’t focus on your wants right now; focus on what is.