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Why do I always have this feeling that self pleasures is a sin? I don’t know why I always have regrets after masturbation. How can I help myself defeat that feeling?
You feel bad because you are confused whether you should do it or not. It’s not because masturbation is a sin or has some underlying health hazards. It’s simply because, at that moment something else conflicts in you mind with your urge to do it. That something else could be any disturbing thought. The negativity of that disturbing thought or it can be the negativity of your doubt/diffidence which collides with the carnal pleasure of the body to cause guilt. Make a note that the amount of pleasure derived by masturabtion can vary in your own individual instances since it depends upon many factors. It is advisable that you should introspect and attain clarity over your perspective towards masturbation. Whatsoever is the decision you take, it will be your decision and you won’t be feeling guilty. However,let me say that with time you will start understanding whether or not you should do it, how often should you do it, how should you do it. During this process too, you will witness some negativity(equivalent to potential guilt) when you derive less pleasure from what you expected. At such occasions you will gain judgement and get closer to your body.
Probably at some point in your life, someone you trusted and respected told you that masturbation was bad. You accepted that belief without question, most likely because you were told this when you were very young. It was repeated so often that it became part of your core identity, all without you questioning it.
Now that you’re older, and you understand why people masturbate, but you still haven’t examined or unlearned the things you were told to believe about masturbation. You still believe, on some level, that there’s something wrong with it. You do it, but there’s a contradiction between what you do and what you were told to believe, and that contradiction manifests as guilt.