It’s normal and totally not uncommon to say no to what you don’t want. Guys often get disappointed when a lady tell them no. A guy once looked at me funny when I told him I don’t have sex and I don’t intend to anytime soon. I just can’t wrap my head round how funny it sounds. Why is this?
Why do most guys get disappointed when a lady tells them no or tell them she’s celibate?
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I stopped dating and having sex with people in 2016, due to personal reasons. I’ve never really had a boyfriend or long term relationship, it’s always been just casual intimacy like friends with benefits. After my last, I thought about why I was doing this, I was good for the sex but not good enough to keep? It made me really feel bad about myself, started having low self esteem, like I wasn’t good enough. So, the urge went away and I got over everything. Often times, when I tell people this, especially guys, hey ask if I’m a nun or asexual. I am not asexual and my decision isn’t based on religion, not at all. Men often see themselves as that which compliment a lady. I believe they’re not at fault, it’s the society. The society has a way of dealing with single ladies without kids, hence why men feel the way they do. Ever since, I feel free, I’m engaged in different activities. Most importantly, no more urge to feel accomplished by a man’s touch or man’s presence in my life.
I once suggested to my partner then that we stopped having sex and wait till we get married, that led to the end of the relationship. Which automatically made me understand an important message from my partner then, the relationship was built on mere sexual pleasure. Why wouldn’t my boyfriend agree to go celibate with me? It’s not as if we haven’t had sex, plenty sex, in the past. My life completely changed after that after I decided to take time off sex. I wanted to strengthen my spiritual muscle. For me, this meant restraining from sex, but I still went out on dates.
Right now, I only value someone who genuinely cares about what I think, who truly cares about me without wanting to have sex with me. It is important to fully love yourself and not seek validation from other people. It is easier to be more connected with a higher power when you are celibate – you have more time to focus on what matters. Just hugging or holding hands with a partner or potential partner is more meaningful. Living a sex-free life is not as hard as one would think and there are other ways to satisfy your sexual desires without having sex with a partner.
I would recommend celibacy, as it allows you to enjoy your body and yourself. You realise that it’s okay to be by yourself and truly have a fulfiled life.