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Caitlin Foster
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Caitlin Foster
Asked: November 9, 20202020-11-09T15:51:00+01:00 2020-11-09T15:51:00+01:00In: Communication

What tells you someone has a very low self esteem?

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Low self esteem is characterized by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. What are the signs that tell you a someone has a low self esteem?

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    1. Deron Bell
      Deron Bell
      2020-11-09T19:52:07+01:00Added an answer on November 9, 2020 at 7:52 pm

      Our negative, fearful and anxious behaviour gives us away every time. No matter what we do, where we go, and what we are given, we will always feel inadequate, gloomy and negative about life, because our basic feeling about ourselves is faulty and negative. With low self-esteem, we are like a walking victim, unable to hide the following signs:

      1. Guilt. This often takes the form of self-torture. Seeing your actions as unforgivable, your imperfections as permanent and believing improvement is impossible.

      2. Fear and uncertainty. The hallmark of non-confident people. They fear everything for a host of reasons. They fear making mistakes, upsetting others or becoming ill. They fear not having material things and not living up to the expectations of someone else. They fear people gossiping and their secrets being known. They fear not being liked, being abnormal and having permanent or terminal illnesses. Fears are fed and maintained by negative experiences, a lack of self-love, lack of self-belief and an absence of trust.

      3. Trying to be a perfect person. True self-confidence and high self-esteem mean an acceptance of your being, warts and all, with no desire to be anyone else. If you do not accept yourself, who on earth is going to accept you?

      4. Unforgiving, unrealistic expectation of perfection in others. They never quite come up to your standard so, indirectly, they are not worth your acknowledgement, attention, recognition, reward or forgiveness.

      5. Lack of trust . When you never engage others honestly, it is hard for them to open their hearts to you. Yet, without openness, you do not get any feedback because others cannot relate to you. You also never discover that others struggle with the same problems as you do, nor do you learn their solutions.

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    2. Jeff Browning
      Jeff Browning
      2020-11-09T20:40:00+01:00Added an answer on November 9, 2020 at 8:40 pm

      One very common way to find out if someone has low self-esteem is to give them a compliment. Of course, there are people with perfectly fine self-esteem who don’t know how to respond, but most people will simply say “thank you”. However, people with low self-esteem will look a bit shy or uncomfortable. They will look unsure and most likely look away.
      Accepting a compliment may feel like agreeing with that positive aspect which they don’t see in themselves, which is why responding to compliments can be exceptionally difficult for someone with low self-esteem. However, failing to do this does not mean that they don’t appreciate the things you’re saying.

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