Do you bare it all out to your therapist? What are the things you must not tell a therapist no matter what?
Hailey VanNew You
What are the things one must not tell a therapist?
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I can’t think of anything you can never say to your therapist. Once a trusting relationship has developed, it’s ok to share what’s going on in your mind, heart, dreams, etc. Therapists are trained to accept a wide range of beliefs and fantasies, without judgment. Sexual issues, body image concerns, present day fears and childhood traumas all fall into the arena of possible topics. If your therapist winces or avoids any topic you bring up, please confront him or her about why that’s difficult to hear. If you talk about harming yourself or another, the therapist is obliged to discuss it further with you and perhaps warn the intended victim or the authorities. Otherwise, anything else should be strictly confidential.
There are no things you should not tell your therapist. The idea of psychotherapy is that you are in a safe place, in a trusting, safe relationship with your psychotherapist, and can and should say everything, without concern of being condemned. I have always clearly stated to every patient in psychotherapy that everything they say stays in that office, that they have a physician patient confidentiality, and that they should speak freely, without editing or censoring.
That enables them to develop trust in me, in the therapeutic relationship, and make progress. It seems clear that some therapists are not comfortable with sexual feelings, romantic feelings, and aggressive thoughts and feelings. Those are all normal, and normal components of psychotherapy. They are not awkward, but rather, normal components, and are dealt with therapeutically, not acted on.
Part of being in psychotherapy is knowing one can say anything, and no actions will take place. We strive to understand our thoughts and feelings. Acting on them is something separate and different. By not having the therapist act on what is said, innermost thoughts and feelings can be openly explored.