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There is a profound pressure put on married couples when it comes to procreation; pressure from the families, friends and the society at large. Is it not always the case that you find a partner who wants what you want and you stay together staying true to that which you want? My fiancé and I are about to get married and when people ask us about kids, we simply tell them we don’t intend to have. Is this abnormal?
One thing you never allow is to be pressurized into doing what you don’t want. It is not a surprise that there are lots of young ones out there who want marriage but no kids, just the way many people want kids but do not want marriage. It’s all based on your decision and what you want, what you want for yourself— not the society or your family. There is always someone who will fancy your decision out there, and praise almighty if you find one. A young lady or man who wants kids without marriage have a lot of options available for them. It’s really nice that you and your fiancé have a sync thought concerning kids. It is what you both want, and do not allow the external forces come into your decision. There are many couples who decide not to have kids, but at the long run, kids happen. It’s either this or that, it’s still going to be your decision. To directly answer your question, it is totally normal to not want kids in a marriage.
It’s perfectly okay to not want kids. It’s okay if you don’t want to be a parent, and there’s nothing wrong with you if that’s the case. It’s also okay to not know yet whether you want to have kids. One thing is for sure though: Feeling pressured and obsessing over what everyone else wants isn’t going to help you make your decision. The truth is, you can be happy no matter what you choose. Every person’s journey is very personal, you decide what stories to tell.
For years I thought that deciding not to have kids would mean a bunch of awful things about myself. I told myself that I should want to have kids, and if I didn’t have them, then I’d be less of a woman. I’d be missing out. I wouldn’t fit in. And all of that would mean something was wrong with me.
So, as you sit in your indecision, know that everything is okay. When you’re ready, you can land on your feet with confidence, love, and some serious self-compassion—regardless of what you choose. Even if you’re experiencing frustrating indecision right now, know that this experience is still important. This is you realizing your own power in creating the life you want.