I can’t help but feel I killed my dad, we were on our way to the therapist’s when the accident happened. I barely made it out alive but he couldn’t. I feel I killed him with my troubles. I’ve never been happen since then. Never
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I don’t know how you feel but I know it must be really hurtful, and I’m so sorry about that. I believe the only way you could be happy with yourself is to fulfill your dad’s aim of making you a better person. Stop all those troubles, become a better you. Know that it wasn’t your fault the accident happened and if you could turn the hand of time, you would’ve behaved better when he was alive. Forgive yourself. You cannot be happy with yourself unless you forgive yourself and it has to come from within. Then, take the bold step to becoming a better you. For your dad.
Make peace with yourself, make peace with your past. Do not allow your past control your future, only you can determine that. Everyone of us has done something in the past that we’re not proud of, I’m pretty sure you totally regret those actions of yours prior the death of your dad. See it as a second chance for you to right your wrongs. It’s possible you escaped the accident just so you could make amends. Engage yourself in productive activities that can also help improve you. You got this!