My daughter and I had a big fight few months ago, she angrily left the house to her boyfriend’s. So, she’s been out living with her boyfriend for four months now, how do I convince her to come back home?
How do I convince my daughter who’s gone to live with her boyfriend to come back home?
Share
You cannot stop her, well, I don’t know her age but if she’s almost the age where she’s able to make her own legal choices, there’s very little you can do. You could threaten to ‘cut her off’, or something childish like that, but it would only drive a larger rift between you. Or, maybe she’d comply, and the pain in her, over her rights and feelings being controlled, immorally, by someone who isn’t her, would weigh on her for years. You are within your rights, to not want her to live with the boyfriend, unsupervised, as a minor. But, really, in the 21st century, even that would be a bit paranoid. In my opinion, you need to make peace with the future, right now, and stop trying to stop her from doing what she wants to do. My friend’s parents tried to force the issue, with a guy she was ‘merely dating’. It’s either him, or them, they said. Guess what happened? She married him.
Please, if you value your own sanity, and having a relationship with your daughter in the future, be supportive of her, now. I don’t care how painful it seems. Just respect her decisions.
When kids mature they think they know what’s best for themselves and sometimes they do but it’s just not what the parents have in mind for them. Sometimes it’s what they want that they believe is best for themselves and it is, on an emotional level. We all have our lives and sadly You’re not going to make those decisions for her. When she looks at you she sees a parental figure because that’s what you are. e.g if she was 13 and her friends started talking about how their parents always tell them what to do or how their parents don’t allow them do things, the next time you don’t allow her to do something or tell her what to do, it’s likely she’ll say you never let me do anything or you always tell me what to do even though you probably may not tell her what to do. If you act in the way those kids around her described, even for the first time in your life, she’d still think that. Parents try to label themselves as friends in, in reference to their kids. You can try but as long as your child lives on planet earth, you will never be able to remove that label from yourself; a parent. They are taught that academically and socially as well. Now here’s where rebellion comes in. Teens rebel against their parents or rather the people who they have labelled as the bosses of them. Alright, You can raise a kid to not do something and to do something but in the end, it all depends on their choice. Instead of raising a kid on what to do or what not to do, know them. I don’t mean sit them down, it has to be on their terms, on where they want to go.