It’s only natural, after experiencing a toxic encounter with a narcissist to want to thoughtfully reclaim your mind and life — and of course avoid another from coming your way.
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It’s only natural, after experiencing a toxic encounter with a narcissist to want to thoughtfully reclaim your mind and life — and of course avoid another from coming your way.
I really think the only way to avoid being a target is to be knowledgeable about the disorder itself and the behaviors and tactics associated with it. Since my very short horror story with a narcissist, I’ve learned that my friends have married and been in relationships with narcissists. The difference between myself and them is I was aware and knowledgeable enough about human behavior to know. I think if a narcissist wants you, they will do whatever it takes to get you. Whatever boundaries and standards you have will be met and trampled over, if a narcissist wants you. Standards and boundaries work on regular people. Someone said the difference between a narcissist and a regular player is players have rules to the game they play. A narcissist will do whatever because they have no conscience. So it’s a matter of you being able to recognize them.
It’s really hard to completely avoid them, especially if you’re a nice person, and they are so normal until you get to know them deeply.
When I look back over the period of time I spent with a narc, I can see clearly where I went wrong. My advice would be to have strong and clear boundaries. Once one of these people enter your life there is a continuous and targeted effort to cross your boundaries, even to break them down. These people do not like their targets having boundaries at all, I would even go as far as to say that they target you because you look like someone with weak boundaries. They also don’t like being told no, safe to say you will see the Narc in their reaction to your first refusal at a boundary crossing. They will not be happy at that.