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There is a very thin line between healthy love and obsession. Obsessive partner is a very dangerous one, and could be life threatening. I am trying to hard to keep my cool, I’m loosing my head. I’ve called the sheriffs several times, it only worsened the case. Why can I do pls?
Most times, obsessive lovers are most likely suffering from one mental disorder or the other. You cannot salvage or help him. Don’t try to, it will only encourage him more. Push him out of any mutual circles or leave any circle that continues to allow him to have access to you. You will simply be giving him no reason to think of you, no way to spy on you through mutual friends and no excuse to just bump into you.
Go through your social media contacts and eliminate anyone who might be him pretending to be someone else. Make your social media private. Leave nothing that he can see about your life public. Block him on social media, his number on your phone. If you see him, refuse to talk to him. You have to cut him completely out of your life. If there’s even a tiny sliver of contact he will always use it to obsess over you.
There are lots of women in this kind of tough situation. Simply saying no will not work. Sometimes if you are especially mean to him, then he will go away. It can also however have the opposite effect. It can in some cases make him even more obsessed, in other cases it will turn the obsession into something malevolent.
Most stalkers are more annoying than dangerous. They can persist for years and create huge amounts of stress. My suggestion is to keep record of everything. Screen shot every message sent, both sides. Remember stalkers obsessively keep records, so they will have the whole conversation. If you show a snippet that makes them look bad but the rest of the conversation shows they were set up, or manipulated into that, then you will lose all credibility. So keep a copy of the entire conversation. Keep anything he leaves for you. Notes, presents, etc. Document time and day he contacts you in a log. Make sure others have copies of every bit of this. Every few days or at least once a week give a couple people you trust the entire body of evidence to hold for you in case something happens to your phone, home, computer, etc.
Clearly and explicitly in written form say you are not interested. Stop all contact. Send by registered mail if you can.
Then if he continues to contact you file a restraining order. You’ll probably get turned down but the attempt to do so will be documented. Continue to make attempts until he ceases.
If he continues long enough sue him. That’s one consequence. If you have mean/tough friends. A friendly word can help as well. Just be sure it’s just words.
Get a gun. Learn how to shoot it. Most are harmless but a few turn out to be rather dangerous and you never really know which is which until something happens.
Be alert to being watched. Especially when coming and going from work and any other place you routinely go. Shake up your routine sometimes. Change things around.
If you have mutual friends and he continues to harass you embarrass him publicly by posting his words on their timelines.