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Is bullying capable of turning someone into a narc? If it is possible that people can turn to narcissists after series of bullying they’ve experienced, then can we say narcissists have a tenable or justifiable excuse for being the way they are?
Narcissists are arrogant and preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited self-importance, success, and power and hey exaggerate their accomplishments and popularity. They exploit and take advantage of people for personal gain. They pit people against each other to get what they want—they divide people to conquer and gain power over them. They manipulate others by influencing emotions like fear and anger, and with threats and lies. Narcissists make others miserable and get aggressive with people who won’t give them the agreement, admiration, and respect they feel entitled to, expecting automatic compliance. How then can these characteristics be justified? There are lots of adults who had very rough and tough childhood, but they never grew to be narcissistic in nature. It is a choice, a choice that was made from the belief that “I am and will always be better than others”. Even though there is a close relationship between narcissism and bullying, but the latter does not justify the former.
Narcissists are more likely to be the ones who were bullied as children. However, some narcissists will report that as a child, they were the bully. They were the superstar. They were the one that everybody gravitated towards. They were the leaders. And in fact it felt like a burden to them, but it gave them a sense of popularity and importance. But for most, the majority of them, will report that they were the ones who were bullied. They didn’t have the social prowess. They didn’t have the easy facility for dealing with other children, because it wasn’t modeled for them, because they weren’t treated that way in the home. So they go into school and they are kind of the odd ones. They are the ones where all the focus is on their achievements, their grades, doing well, so they can become a threat to some of the other children in the room, or they are just different. And so they end up being the ones who are bullied or teased or made fun of. And, as a result, they become the grown-up bullies in the world. They grow up to become so self-centered opportunists.