My wife and I decided to ask our son to start paying rent in our house, he’s 19 and he doesn’t last days at any job he gets. He lives and eats FREELY under us. Is this a good decision?
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My wife and I decided to ask our son to start paying rent in our house, he’s 19 and he doesn’t last days at any job he gets. He lives and eats FREELY under us. Is this a good decision?
This is quite funny. My parents charged me $350 monthly rent when I turned 18. I worked at a Burger stopnchop for minimum wage. I wasn’t able to get that job until after I graduated because my parents forced me to babysit my brother for free. This put a huge pressure on me as a young adult trying to get my shit together. I was barely making any money, expected to pay nearly half of my parents rent while also saving for my own place. I ended up having to move out into what literally seemed like a trap house just to catch a break. I personally think that if you are going to charge your kid rent, you need to consider several things like; how much money do they make at their job? How much can you realistically expect them to save while they are paying rent? How old are they? Are they just finishing school? why are you charging rent? Is it to be spiteful? Is it because they refuse to get off their lazy ass? Is it because you are personally struggling? Have you considered other options? Such as sitting down with your child to have an adult conversation (since you want to treat them as an adult in other senses) and deciding together what a reasonable contribution to the household would be— based on their room size in comparison to the rest of the house, how much utilities they use, how much food they eat that you pay for, and what they can afford to contribute while also putting money back for their own house/apartment. Please do not do to your child what my parents did. I had to move out quickly just to be able to live. I had no time to save up ‘cushion’ money, so when my job temporarily shut down to be renovated, I was left with absolutely no money and got evicted. Please remember that this is your child. You are responsibile for them and just because they are 18 now, you should not forget that fact. They still need your help and your guidance. I suggest before charging rent, to tell them you would like them to move out. Give them 6–12 months to save money for this… and help them to find a home they can afford that is actually livable. Do not take advantage of your children. They are not a friend who asked to crash for a bit and never left. They are a being that you brought into this world. That you chose to take responsibility for and raise. Do not expect that just because they are 18 they should ‘carry their weight’ when they have never done so before. Help your child to transition into the real world and help them do so smoothly.
My parents never asked me for a dime, charged me for anything or even wanted me to pay any sorts of money at home. We were always super close and instead of spending money at home I had the chance to save my money, focus on other things and did not get the financial pressure to pay rent or other payments at home. Now, as a dad of two boys, I can tell that I would never ask them to pay any sorts of rent or anything. I think when you are close to your family and share your money, help each other out and just be there for each other in any situation you don’t need to charge someone. Yes, there are kids out there who are still living with their parents although their age is above 25 and they are financially secure. I think in that situation, if you are close to your family, you support them on your own if you see the need. If their income is enough and they don’t need your share to survive and don’t ask you for it, be smart. Build up savings and plan your future. Don’t just waste your income.
My personal opinion is that parents shouldn’t charge their children, unless there is a reason for it. If your son is 25+, just sits at home without any sorts of motivation and drive to get on his on feet, well, maybe charging him would put some pressure on him to get going. But, on the other hand, it causes your relationship to fall apart. It will definitely cause some sort of tension. I would say it always depends on the family and the relationship between parents and children. Is it worth it to destroy that over money? Do you need the money? Is it just to show that you are in charge?