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I just discovered something huge about my boyfriend of 4years, he loves boys and he’s hooked up with boys even while dating me. I am not homophobic but I’m just really surprised, angry and sad at the same time.
First, you really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It can be a very painful thing, you may even start thinking you’re not enough. You are! Blaming your boyfriend (or ex now) won’t do you any good either, he probably didn’t like what he did to you. Most times when homosexuals date people of the opposite sex, they do it out of obligations to their family or out of the fact that they don’t want people to know they’re homosexuals. Which explains why he’s been living in denial. Either ways, forgive him and simply move on. I would immediately cut off the relationship if I were you. Move on and let him move on. Like I said earlier, erase the thought that you were not enough, that’s not true. Cheer up! You still have a great future ahead of you. This can’t define you. A better man who is going to love you dearly will definitely find you.
I’ll be so angry at myself, for not detecting he’s been gay all through the 4years we’ve been together. I’ll be so hurt, but then, there’s nothing I can do to it. It’s beyond my control. So I’d just let myself hurt for as long I can be, I’ll try to stay with my loved ones during that period, I know they wouldn’t stand to see me feeling so down for too long. I honestly would cut him off. Not because he’s gay, but because of my mental health. Only when I cut him off will I be able to get back to my old self.