My partner is yet to come out, not even to her parents. I didn’t see it as a big deal until I noticed she identifies as a heterosexual person to others and even posts picture of hot guys on her insta stories. Did I make a mistake by dating her?
Share
It’s impossible to date someone while pretending not to be interested in dating them. The other partner will inevitably feel cheated that the first person, while professing interest in them, is actually unwilling to do anything actually expressing this interest outside of very carefully supervised environments. People who are looking to date others don’t want shadowy assignations. Rather, they want a relationship.
Come out first and get accustomed to being out with your sexual orientation. Then you can date. Until that point, all you can realistically hope for are quiet encounters hidden from everyone.
My impression is that almost no one who is out wants to date someone in the closet. The problem seems to be two-fold, the first is that it forces the partner to “go back in” for the sake of their date, and the second is they have to deal with all the drama associated with being in the closet. So it seems that for the most part you will only be able to date other people who are also in the closet. How do you find them? I don’t know.