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Home/ Questions/Q 29239
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Mark Brantley
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Mark BrantleyNew You
Asked: August 27, 20212021-08-27T16:11:24+01:00 2021-08-27T16:11:24+01:00In: Analytics

Are narcissists naturally quiet?

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Is it in the nature of narcissistic people to be quite or you have to beware of their quietness because may mean they are up to something?

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    1. Deane Bartlett Social Butterfly
      2021-08-30T14:55:00+01:00Added an answer on August 30, 2021 at 2:55 pm

      Probably manipulating or plotting a downfall. But some coverts are quiet by nature. My father was taciturn unless he was trying to impress my brothers or uncles or was being nasty to me. The few boyfriends I took home he blanked altogether even if sitting with them alone in the living room. Maybe he got out of practice. It was difficult to get a word in edge ways with my mother, who kept up a steady stream of chit chat and general observation. My sister offers the minutiae of her life, minute by minute-my grandmother was the same.
      My ex was quiet too. We could go out for dinner with friends and he wouldn’t speak. No effort or embarrassment at all. Same with family gatherings. And he was the best when it came to doling out silent treatments. Incredible. My ex husband was the quiet type too. Some of it is manipulation-they hope never to be invited back or that I would lose the friendship and be more and more confined to home. But some narcissists are just quiet and reserved. Throw is some shallow effect, a dash of laziness and why bother talking at all? Besides, the less they say, the less trouble comes their way.

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    2. Graig Rudolph Social Butterfly
      2021-08-30T18:27:56+01:00Added an answer on August 30, 2021 at 6:27 pm

      It’s possible they are creating the ultimate response of honesty, except it doesn’t take a lot of concocting to be honest. They are buying time. They are contriving a situation for you to escalate so they can then attack when you are not on your game. When they are thinking and they think a lot. Mostly it’s avoidance. You have managed to corner them and for some reason they are not in the mood to fight so they go silent, maybe close their eyes and poof you have disappeared. When they return from their mental vacation they will either act as if they don’t remember what was being discussed or as if nothing prior to the mental break was happening or they will become enraged yet another avoidance tactic. It is also quite possible that whatever is happening has sent them right back to their trauma. They have checked out and are disassociating with everything. They cannot function because the two events are colliding and they cannot be present. Whatever is happening is triggering a very unbearable period of their life and they feel threatened perhaps that their life is threatened and they must escape. When they come back they may be prepared to fight or leave or again avoid. They may be punishing you for whatever they feel you did to slight them so now you get the silent treatment. That usually means they have been up to something and the are trying to throw you off the scent until they need you for something again. Sometimes to mess with your head. Maybe so you will keep asking what’s wrong or if they are okay then lash out for your normally desired attention and try to make you feel insane or at the very least confused.

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