Having being a caregiver myself for someone who suffered from senile Dementia, I can tell you it’s not as difficult as it seems to be. All person with dementia is different. What works for one person may not not necessarily work for another. I will share some of the techniques I used; I always respect what they say, and find a way to go along with their ideas if possible.
I never say ‘no’. I offer alternatives.
I never commanded them around ‘sit down’ or ‘lay there’, I suggest a suitable activity.
I never argue with them. If we disagree over something, I always back down.
I never confront them with their mistakes, it’s not like it’s going to help them or even help you.
When they are struggling to find a word, I make a suggestion, rather than letting them struggle. Stress and frustration make word-finding even more difficult.
I remove things that regularly upset or confuse them. It is not unusual for someone with dementia to spend hours going through stuff they no longer understand and getting more distressed. Remove the source of the distress.
I never rush them. It may take twenty minutes to prepare for a trip to the shops, so I allow for this.
I never raise my voice or sound agitated. Smile. Reassure. Use humour.
I repeat myself, over and over again, as if it is the first time we have had this particular conversation. I never say ‘I already told you!’
I never take away their status as an adult with their own tastes and values. I don’t impose my views on them. Unless their safety is compromised, they can choose how to live.
I talk to them in a straightforward way about their condition.
Simple, familiar tasks can be comforting, and give a sense of being useful and competent.
I talk to them as I would talk to any other adult. They are vulnerable, but they are not children. They may need shorter sentences and frequent re-caps to help them to stay on topic in conversation, but they do not appreciate baby talk.