There’s a word for people who can choose to be either gay or straight. The word for that is bisexual. Even! Bisexual people can’t really choose to be either gay or straight, because it’s not really a choice who you fall in love with, it just sort of happens once you meet the right person. But bisexual people can choose to seek out either gay or straight relationships, in good conscience, because they know they actually have fair odds of finding someone of either gender that they like, and so they do have at least a little bit of choice involved.
But most people? Most people are not really bisexual. Most straight guys are not really secretly bisexual. Most gay guys are not really secretly bisexual. I’ve heard that it’s a little more fluid for women, but I’d bet good money on the idea that if you added up all the men who are not really bisexual, and all the women who are not really bisexual, you’d get a number where on the whole most people are not bisexual.
If you are the kind of person who actually has a choice, congratulations. That makes you at least a little bit bisexual.
But I am not even a little bit bisexual. Neither is my husband. We didn’t choose to be gay. We didn’t choose to fall in love. We just did. And now we’re together, and we both hope to be together forever.
There are probably some bisexual men and women out there who have chosen to seek a partner of their own gender, for reasons. But that doesn’t go for most of us.