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Mellisa Hamblin

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    1. Asked: December 4, 2020In: Communication

      How do you get over the fear of being close or intimate with people ?

      Mellisa Hamblin
      Mellisa Hamblin
      Added an answer on December 5, 2020 at 8:39 am

      Fear of intimacy can often be stated as a lack of intimate trust in others. This inability to trust easily in others is often well earned, and need not be discarded altogether. In some instances, it’s good to be wary, in other situations such as in a personal relationship, it can be a real barrier.Read more

      Fear of intimacy can often be stated as a lack of intimate trust in others. This inability to trust easily in others is often well earned, and need not be discarded altogether. In some instances, it’s good to be wary, in other situations such as in a personal relationship, it can be a real barrier. Learn about the different kinds of trust. For example, you trust your bank with your money, but you know your bank sees other people. You may not trust your partner with money, but you expect an exclusive relationship.
      Next, figure out your plan to gradually start increasing trust in intimate relationships. Take the time you need; as another poster suggested, be patient with yourself. Start out with easy things: does the person show up on time? Does he remember your wants and needs? Does she keep your private life private?
      Gradually expand and observe how your partner handles the trust you give to them. If the trust is honored, when you’re ready, extend a little more. If the trust isn’t honored, then don’t accept excuses (yours or theirs). Consider it as valuable information learned, and decide if you wish to continue with the person, knowing that you have reached the level of trust that they can sustain. If everything goes well, and the person proves to be reliable and trustworthy – then, and only then, do you treat them as reliable and trustworthy.
      If you find that you still cannot trust someone who has demonstrated that they are reliable and trustworthy – it’s time to see a therapist.

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    2. Asked: December 4, 2020In: Communication

      How important is the family background and knowing the past life of your spouse before getting married to them?

      Mellisa Hamblin
      Mellisa Hamblin
      Added an answer on December 5, 2020 at 8:39 am

      It is extremely important because it going to influence your relationship with your spouse and his family. When you have the idea what going on with his past or the way him or her being raised, you basically will know what kind of person he or she is. Maybe not 100% accurate but so how, whatever hapRead more

      It is extremely important because it going to influence your relationship with your spouse and his family. When you have the idea what going on with his past or the way him or her being raised, you basically will know what kind of person he or she is. Maybe not 100% accurate but so how, whatever happened in the past is going to shape their personalities in the future. Therefore, you can make wise decision either to continue your plan to marry him/her or if you decided to proceed, you aware what situation are you in. Take for example, if you are going to marry someone that been raised in the broken home, you will understand the pattern of their behaviour is due to traumatic event. The negative impact from the lack of emotional support during their childhood life. As a spouse, you will know how to provide them emotional and psychological support that they need to live normally. If you going to marry someone who cheated their former spouse in the previous relationships, you definitely will prepare yourself well as sometimes, the history repeats itself. Equip ourselves with the knowledge on how to handle our spouse, try to work the marriage and create good home for a family.

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