If all you want your child to achieve is to get an A on the English test, or go to a Ivy League university, reward away. But then what? Are you going to keep rewarding them for every slight achievement for the rest of their lives? For these children, it is likely that they become very reward-driven. Am I going to be rewarded if I do this? No? Then I’ll do something else. Children are curious, they love learning about new things. Think babies who keep dropping spoons to the floor, they are little physicist experimenting on the effect of gravity. Think children who ask endless questions, they want to know how the world works. This intrinsic motivation is what we are most seeking for. It’s what enables them to discover themselves and the world, and become lifelong learners. It’s what makes them successful.
The school system, with its endless tests and more, turns learning a work and brings the word “learning” a negative connotation that is connected to memorizing the solutions, forced sitting in the classroom, possible humiliation and punishment, and more. School is already filled with external motivation and punishments. So as a parent, one often should encourage the growth of the intrinsic motivation by answering children’s questions, letting them experiment, traveling, visiting museums, etc.