You have the power to remove him from your house. When children turn 18, parents are not legally obligated to provide for their adult children. If he won’t do anything around the house, you can tell him he either has to start contributing, or he can leave. Those are his choices. It is not up for debate. It is your home. You can do what you see fit. But do not let him continue to live there and freeload.
You handle it this way: “Either you contribute to the household if you want to remain living here, or you can pack your things and leave.”
Give him a time frame to improve. If he does not, you ask him to move out. If he has nowhere to go, it isn’t your problem. He is an adult. It is up to him to make the decision.
These sorts of questions always surprise me. It seems like common sense. But then again, I grew up in a household where we were made to contribute. No way would my parents accept this kind of behavior. I also didn’t live with my parents as an adult. I didn’t make excuses. I got whatever job I could and I struggled. I have been living away from them since I was 19 years old. Your adult child should not be allowed to live in your home and do nothing. Period. Unless someone is physically incapable of contributing, they should be. Not everything is a disorder or mental illness. We also shouldn’t have to coddle and talk to our adult children like they are babies. We need to stop viewing things as such and stop making excuses for ourselves and our children. Many People are just plain lazy or just do not care. That doesn’t mean something is mentally wrong with them. In fact, I am willing to bet that 8 times out of 10, this is the case. It means they have not yet learned how to be accountable for their lives. One of the best ways to teach them how to be accountable is to teach them harsh lessons.