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When it comes to happiness, most of us self-sabotage. Most of our goals in life are aimed at finding happiness. How do people self sabotage themselves when they’re on the track to finding happiness for themselves.
Self sabotage is a habit. Thinking pessismistically is a habit. Being insecure is a habit of mind. Doubting your judgement is a symptom of low self esteem. If you desire to change your mental paradigm, you must first root out the origins of your insecurity. Your feelings of self doubt are not intrinsic to your personality. These are attitudes you developed about yourself growing up. You can ask yourself if you were teased as a child? Or taught that your feelings did not matter? Did you feel out of touch with your environment? Did you find socializing too painfull? Was you a nerd? A drop out? Or a brilliant but lonely student? These are simply factors the answers to which provide insight how, when and why, you became insecure. Insecurity is a frame of mind. Risk takers tend to exaggerate their competence. Those who are meek, mild, and passive by nature, tend to devalue themselves. It may feel dangerous, arrogant, or out of character to behave in a competent manner. However, my suggestion to those who tend to sabotage themselves, is to try a new strategy. Once this new experience becomes accepted and incorporated into your self image, new habits will emerge.
Sometimes when you see that something is working out well for you or about to work out, you feel like you need to either reverse the process or begin to procrastinate until you eventually give up. So in other words, you are cutting off your success when you feel like it’s close by. You are self-sabotaging your success. There may be many reason why we self-sabotage, but the two common ones are: old negative experiences and formed habits at childhood. As we grow, we experience life and inevitably make mistakes. That’s okay and is a natural part of the process of growing up and becoming wiser. However, some mistakes are taken less lightly than others, and end up scarring us for long. An example would be getting your heart broken when falling in love. The result of that experience can be us not being able to properly love again or trust another person, despite them not having done anything wrong. In this case, we are self-sabotaging our relationships because of a past negative experience. In the case of forming a habit, we may have copied it off of someone around us as we grew up. We took their habits, something they often said or done, and made it our own. We then use it to sabotage our own success.
For example, we may have heard our parents say many times that rich people are bad people. As a result, we are not able to earn a lot of money because we think it will make us “bad”. Hence, we sabotage our material wellbeing.